Lousy forehand, ineffectual net play, laughable serve? Andrew Anthony takes his game to the tennis academy at Sardinia's luxurious Forte Village for some intensive therapy
There comes a time in every man's life when he has to confront his own mortality. In my case it was four years ago and the ankle injury that spelt the end of my football-playing days at the absurdly premature age of 47. At such moments, a man either sinks into a leather-trouser wearing crisis or takes up another, less punishing sport. So after careful consideration, I rejected the lure of bad fashion and instead opted for tennis.
Tennis, it turns out, is a game of enormous pleasure, but even greater vexation, especially if you wait until you're 47 to get started. Every aspect is fraught with technical challenges. There is so much that can go wrong, and in my experience all of it usually does. Which is why, if you're not going to descend into protracted racket abuse, a coach is necessary. Ideally a highly qualified coach in a sunny climate with plenty of tennis courts and a variety of other attractions to cater for those children and loved ones who may not share your passion for perfecting the backhand slice.
The Forte Village in Sardinia, which features 12 courts, provides just such an environment. A resort that has long prided itself on the quality of its facilities and food, it has in recent times increasingly focused on raising the profile of its sports. A few years back, it launched a football academy with the backing of Chelsea football club. Word has it that Roman Abramovich's young son, cooped up on the world's largest yacht, was looking to play a game of football, so the billionaire moored his boat near Forte Village and was so impressed with the set-up that he offered to sponsor its football academy.
Now Forte is hoping to make a similar step-change with its tennis academy. The coaching system is led by Rocky Loccisano, who coached Pat Cash after he won Wimbledon. Cash is among several well-known players running classes at the academy this summer. A wry and deceptively soft-spoken Australian, Loccisano is an astute analyst of the game. Not only is he quick to spot flaws in technique, he has a gift for thinking up ways to put them right.
It would be wrong to say tennis is all technique – there's a certain amount of fitness required, too. But without the technique you might as well be running around the court with a blindfold on. The problem is that's effectively what many of us park players do. We learn to play without looking at what we're doing, and after a while it becomes a difficult habit to break.
First off Rocky examined my groundstrokes. They were fine, really, just as long the ball landed in the right place and ideally nowhere near my backhand. I wasn't using my feet enough. That's one of the mysteries of tennis. Although it's played with the hands, most problems stem from the feet. If they're in the wrong place, it's highly likely the ball will follow suit.
I wasn't turning square on to the ball with my forehand, so the power was coming just from my arms instead of my body and my arms. The same with my backhand, a situation further complicated by the absence of a recognisable slice – the downward backspin thrust.
To watch Roger Federer's backhand slice is to bear witness to a physical movement of such grace and purity it could make a choreographer weep tears of envy. Mine wasn't like that. The tears it might inspire were of an entirely different kind – frustration, in my case; laughter, in that of onlookers.
But with his eagle eye, Rocky identified where I was going wrong. It was all in the wrist. It was straight and I needed to bend it. "Think of the creases in an elephant's trunk," he said helpfully. "That's what you need to see on the back of your wrist."
Suddenly the ball was flying off my racket, propelled by an exquisite backspin that I wanted to just stand and admire. But I couldn't, because I had to practise. It takes 30,000 repetitions, Rocky told me, for an action to be secured in muscle memory.
With that daunting thought, I went for a cycle ride to the beach. The village is laid out in such a cleverly landscaped manner it's hard to tell whether it's a small space masquerading as a large one or vice versa. What's clear is that there is an abundance of amenities and fabulous restaurants and a great sense of ease.
There are few more beautiful sporting sights than a red clay court beneath a clear blue sky. And for the rest of the week I laboured in those luxuriant conditions to put as much distance as possible between my game and comic embarrassment. That meant addressing the serve.
Rocky filmed my serve – a sort of hopeful fling – and showed me on an iPad where the origin of the trouble was located. I couldn't give a toss. Which is to say, I wasn't consistent in throwing the ball up. His solution was to make me stand still and only serve the balls that were tossed in the right spot. My homework was to take a crate of balls and repeat this exercise over and over until I gained some regularity in my toss.
It worked. By the end of the week my serve, along with my whole game, had dramatically improved in power and technique. I returned to England full of eagerness to demonstrate my new abilities against one of my hapless tennis partners. At my local park I set about showing off my dazzling array of coached tennis shots. Unfortunately I'd left them in Sardinia. But that's tennis. Just when you think you're getting there, like a well-aimed cross court forehand, it slips past you.
Essentials
Andrew Anthony's holiday was provided by Forte Village Resort, Sardinia. It offers a seven-night stay from £3,175 per adult and £1,765 per child, based on two adults and two children staying in a family bungalow booked with Western Oriental (westernoriental.com; 020 7666 1234). The price includes half-board accommodation, the tennis academy, return flights from Gatwick and transfers. Three extra 60-minute lessons with a tennis star costs from €252pp